Today was one of those days where I got nothing accomplished that I felt needed to be and where I felt miserably for being top of the class. Today, is now gone and I can’t go back and change it. I can’t undo what I did and make myself make different choices. I can’t make myself say different things and think different thoughts. I just can’t, and I don’t think I would change anything. We don’t grow if we don’t learn.
I feel like I am doing the same things over and over, and nothing is making sense. Like Alice, falling through into Wonderland, everything is what it isn’t and nonsense makes sense. What I thought was concrete and firm, is now shaky and I don’t know where to go. I’m crying out for help and no one listens. I feel useless when it comes to taking pictures or writing, and apparently, I care too much about what other people think. I feel stuck in a rut, with no way out. Part of me wants to give up and let my enemy win and another part of me wants me to prove them wrong. I don’t know which way is up and I don’t know where to go. Will someone help me?