Mom had her first class teaching ASL this morning. It wasn’t too bad but there a couple of kids who are gonna be interesting to see how they do. On the way home my littlest brother threw up. We had just enough time to clean out the van before I left to take Stuart to WHHS. After dropping him off, I went to the office and helped out some. Can you believe that I leave in about 7.5 wks?! Yeah, I can’t either! When I was weighed today, I had gained a couple of pounds. Not what I wanted to hear right now. Anyways, the guys were in such a good mood that it was almost comical. When, after picking up Stuart, I made it home, I decided to go get some pics for today. I went out to the old torn down trailer, and got some cool shots, and had a really cool one set up when my battery died. I came up, grabbed my back-up only to discover that it was also dead. Darn! I’m gonna try to get the pic tomorrow. Right around bedtime, the littlest brother threw up again. Poor baby looks miserable. We don’t know why he is sick either. Hopefully he will be better tomorrow. Night y’all!



In 7 weeks, I will leave for Basic. I will no longer be my own person. I will be a part of something bigger than myself, something international and something amazing. I will be a part of America’s Navy; I will be a Sailor. So why am I so scared? Maybe it’s because I don’t feel ready. Maybe because I will be gone from my family for the longest stretch of time or maybe because… know, I don’t know why I’m scared.

Today was a good day actually. Beautiful weather, loverly lunch with the family and I got some cleaning accomplished. Zack was supposed to call from Camp Lejune today but that didn’t happen. I don’t know if it’s cause his phone died or what but I feel kinda depressed now. I’ve had the devil whispering in my ear that everything that Zack told me was a lie but we all know that the devil is the Father of lies and everything he says is a lie. I know that God has this situation in control and I’m not gonna worry about it or Zack. Well, I’m off to bed! Night!


I had to leave early this morning to get some goat milk replacer so that our bottle babies could live. Aahhh! the price one pays for life. After that, it was errands all day for me. I got my transcripts from CCCC and got them to Collins so that is one item of paperwork out of the way. Btw, I got all A’s!! All in all, a long day where I felt like I did nothing. Which ended up being pretty accurate, to say the least.

Mom and Dad got an all districts page for a land search which they are on right now. Stuart and I are staying up for awhile longer.

Day109 – Rambles of a Lonely Heart

Man, oh man. Today was just interesting. For starters, I didn’t sleep well at all. Surprise, surprise but last night was really bad. Had some arguments with my siblings this morning which didn’t help matters and to top it off, the carrots we were gonna use for the stew tonight froze, somehow, in the fridge. Which meant that I had to drive to the store and get some. By the way, did I mention that I hadn’t eaten yet? Sugary pop-tarts and Dr. Pepper – breakfast for slackers and believe me, I regretted it later.

Stuart had JROTC and auditions at WHHS this afternoon, and Mom and Dad had a retirement banquet tonight and I had my DEP meeting (which I will talk about in a minute) and McDaniel had CheerXTreme tonight as well.

My DEP meeting was pretty ok considering it was pretty much put together at the last minute due to the fact that no one could get to the office to plan it. I have officially realized how immature some of them are but that there is not a thing I can do to change that. I am proud to say that I know my General Order’s and my Sailor’s Creed as well. Yippee for me!!

In another random note: Justin pulled me up in chat tonight and while I admit I was a bit rude, he kinda deserved it after the hell I went through the week after Thanksgiving. Guys who are reading this, pay attention. Don’t tell a girl you love her one night and then the next day say you wanna be friends and then the day after that go back to saying you love her. Not only will you break her heart repeatedly, but it’ll make you look like a jerk. Just don’t do that, ok? We’ll stick around and hope that we are the one who will change you but after a while, we will walk away. And our heart will be broken so much, and so many tears will have been shed that we aren’t even sure if we are fixable again.

Day104 – Rollercoaster

They go up and down, side to side and may even have a loop-de-loop or two. Some of them use seatbelts, some use contraptions to hold you in. Some are absolutely terrifying, some are quite relaxing. But they have one thing in common: they make the theme park what they are. Without the rollercoaster, would any of us honestly go to a theme park?? No. I wouldn’t and I used to be terrified of them.

Same with life. We have days that are up, down and throw us all over the place. I started out my morning by getting frustrated at my family, then calmed down and realized how much I wanna be a mom one day, then escalated to arguments in the afternoon/evening and felt total elation when Zack called from Camp Lejune. After he called, his phone lost signal and I couldn’t get up with him again. 😦 I have never missed someone like this and the rest of the evening I was kinda down in the dumps because I couldn’t talk to him.

On another note: The Cape premiered on NBC tonight. It was really cool. I cannot wait til next Monday to watch some more episodes.


P.S. I have 9 weeks til I leave for Basic.


Today is day 88, just in case you couldn’t tell. Man, I tell you what, for all my complaining about school, I miss it like crazy!! I miss having a reason to get up in the morning and I miss actually having to do something right then instead of pushing it off until the next day. I still haven’t finished taking care of my clothes yet and part of that is due to laziness and another part is due to the question of what else do I give away? I haven’t touched the BlueJackets manuel that I was lent and while I have been doing some reading (mostly out of boredom), I haven’t touched my Bible. I feel miserable and I hate not having a schedule to my life. Heck, in a way, I even miss working at CB during the holidays. I hate this, almost with a passion it seems. I haven’t even written anything in my book, that’s how depressed feeling I am. I know it’s the holidays and we’re supposed to be thankful and all that and truth be told, I am. I am thankful that I am with my family and that my father has a great job, that I will be leaving soon for Basic, that my brother is successful in JROTC and that for right now, things are going well. But at the same time, I feel depressed. There are things I know I am supposed to du but haven’t, things I shouldn’t have done but did anyways, and so on and so forth. I’m signing off and going to bed and maybe tomorrow I can be more motivated to do something productive.


Sleep, wonderful relaxing sleep. It has been so nice to actually get some sleep these past couple of days although I do miss the schedule I had. I had a meeting at my recruiter’s office this morning and that went well. I still need to work on my aircraft/ships and finish up my General Orders and make sure I know my Sailor’s Creed without hesitation. After my meeting, I went to WM, where I helped Mom do some shopping. I felt completely incompetent because I didn’t know what my siblings would like. When I got home and checked the  mail, my afternoon took a downward fall. In the mail were 7 cards addressed to me and my brothers/sisters. My parents had a joint one. They all came from my dad’s parents and inside was a cheap card and a $25 gift card to OldNavy. I don’t even shop there and I was furious that in my 19 years of life on this planet my own grandmother hasn’t taken the time to get to know me. She didn’t even ask my parents if we were coming up or if they could come down. Urggg!! It infuriates me that we don’t even matter to her. Well, I am definitely over my little rant. At least for now. This evening we watched The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and actually had a good evening. Other than that and watching the season finale of Psych, nothing much went on.