How do we….

… with love when it comes to our family?? Let me explain. My parents are going to be celebrating 21 years of marriage. My mom’s parents will be celebrating 46 shortly after my parents. I am the oldest of 6 children. So why do I not feel like I’m loved??

The answer is simple – look through the above paragraph and see who I didn’t mention. My dad’s parents have never been involved in my life to this point. They know nothing about me and I know nothing about them. My father is older than his 3 sisters and until recent years, me and my siblings were 6 out of 8 of my grandmother’s grandchildren. I see them, maybe, twice a year and yet, I know for a fact, that my other cousins see her way more than that. Before I was born, there was animosity from my father’s mother towards my mom. My father didn’t even know my aunt was married, let alone pregnant, until someone told my dad about my cousin’s birth. As if that wasn’t enough, she didn’t tell us about my aunt in Germany getting married until she was pregnant as well. Every year, right about Thanksgiving, my mom receives an e-mail from my grandmother asking her what we want for Christmas. My mom replies and we get exactly that – nothing more, no little added gift, just what my mom put on that list. Two, maybe three, years ago, my mom received that e-mail and I told my mom, “If she doesn’t know me well enough to know what I would like for Christmas, then she doesn’t deserve to get me anything. Every grandmother should know what their grandchild wants for Christmas and she doesn’t know squat.” Every year, it’s been like that.

So, how does that relate to my question?? How do know how to give love except the way we are given?? If we aren’t given any love, then how do we give love?? I am thankful everyday for my parents, my mom’s parents and my boyfriend, all of whom show love for me every day. Is it possible to show love to someone who has never, and I mean, never, given love to you?? I think it is. I know for a fact that it’s hard, but if we take the love that is given to us by the ones who do love, I think it is possible to give love to those who have found a reason to not love us.


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